In which our heroine talks to a tree

I have been calming down and feeling less negative. My food is back on track. And I got up a little early yesterday, and remembered to do something I have been putting off. I have finished most of my direct amends, and I need to do some indirect amends. A couple of weeks ago I had drafted a letter to a group of people who I harmed. I don't know most of their first names and none of their last names, so I can't really track them down without injuring someone else. Anyway, I had written them a letter, and my sponsor said, "What are you going to do with it?" So I asked HP, because I had kind of thought just emailing it to my sponsor was enough. I asked HP, and a gut instinct came back to me: "Read it out loud to a tree." Um. Ok.

So I was having all these negativity issues, and feeling really super dorky and like this program is a waste of my time. I did not read it to the tree. Even though I had a felt sense of exactly what tree to read to. It just felt... dumb. I would write my food in to my sponsor every morning and occasionally, he would ask, "have you read to that tree yet?" No. So anyway, for whatever reason, I was in the computer room yesterday morning, and it occurred to me I could print out the letter and read it to the tree before going to work. So, I did. And i felt like a fruitcake; and had to tell myself no neighbors were paying attention to me -- surely, they were all getting ready for work and not looking out the windows.

Did I mention, the tree had all changed colors: its leaves were a stunning crimson. It took my breath away.

So today, I pause on that gift. Tomorrow I work on my next, and second to last amend.